The Stop, Drop, and Feel can help you stop a binge in its tracks. It’s a powerful tool designed to stop binge eating by directly addressing the emotions that trigger unwanted eating patterns.
While the Stop, Drop, & Feel is particularly useful for stopping yourself in the middle of a binge — or ideally, before a binge starts — it can (and should!) be used throughout your entire journey overcoming compulsive eating.
This is the #1 tool for Psycho-Spiritual Wellness: a path to stop compulsive eating rooted purely in psychology and spirituality. The SDF is the tool that I come back to over and over again, and I encourage all of my readers and clients to do the same.
In fact, throughout all my years of coaching, the Stop, Drop, & Feel has remained the most important tool in the toolbox — so much so, that I eventually created The Stop, Drop, & Feel Masterclass for the most comprehensive guide.
Also, I am proud to say that the Stop, Drop, & Feel®️ is now a registered trademark!
How to Stop a Binge with the Stop, Drop, & Feel
First up, let’s get into the mechanics and principles of the Stop, Drop, and Feel. While there are specific steps you can follow, there will also be plenty of troubleshooting tips because it plays out differently for everyone.
Here’s the original SDF video that explains everything:
First side tangent: This video was filmed in 2018. At that time, I was struggling with “filmer’s block” and told myself to just forget perfection and FILM. So, I sat down with wet hair and awful lighting, figuring that this video would be one of my earliest ones and not very popular.
Little did I know that this tool would become a pillar of my work, and my most-watched video of all time. And although I wish the quality was better, I actually think it worked out perfectly, because anti-perfectionism, realness, and authenticity are the goal anyway.
Second side tangent: I tucked this information away in a little expand-o thing-o because I only like to bore people with the details of my life if they actually care or are curious. So, thanks for expand-o-ing my thoughts!
The Stop, Drop, & Feel always starts with the element of permission. It starts with a promise that you can still eat exactly what appeals to you if that’s still what you really want after the SDF is over.
This element of permission is what gives us the ability to actually pause a binge. The “stop” part of the Stop, Drop, & Feel may feel impossible or, at the very least, wildly inaccessible to those of us that struggle with binge eating. This is normal.
Personally, back in my days of struggling with overeating and binge eating, I would have laughed at someone telling me to “just pause a binge.” If I was able to do that, I would also “just stop overeating” and never have any problems!
Trust me that the element of permission is what makes this whole thing work. In fact, one area where people commonly get stuck is attempting to use the SDF as a form of restriction. Try not to do that.
The Stop, Drop, & Feel does not work if you attempt to use it as a tool to avoid eating. But if it's not a tool to avoid eating, how does it help stop compulsive eating?
Above all else, the Stop, Drop, & Feel is a tool for developing emotional awareness and emotional tolerance. Yes, in the long-run, it helps stop compulsive eating. But first and foremost, this tool is about developing resilience.
For those of you that did not watch the video above, here are the steps to using the SDF:
- Stop: As soon as you’re about to reach for food when you aren’t hungry, stop, pause, and promise yourself that you can still eat that specific food after the SDF if that’s still what you really want.
- Drop: Then, go into another room if possible and set a timer for just 2 minutes. Then, drop into your body. Get curious about how you’re feeling.
- Feel: Allow space for your feeling to coexist with you. Don’t intellectualize it and don’t resist your emotions; that would only make the emotion grow stronger. Instead, just spend 2 minutes sitting still with your edgiest emotions. Feel your feelings.
The Stop, Drop, & Feel is based on my heavily-tried-and-true theory that behind every moment where we want to eat when we aren’t hungry, there is a particularly edgy emotion floating underneath that we either aren’t aware of or don’t want to deal with.
By training in sitting still with these uncomfortable emotions, we develop tolerance for them. This is a skill that I refer to as emotional tolerance. Developing emotional tolerance through the Stop, Drop, & Feel was one of the hardest things I ever did in my entire life. This work is not easy, but it is extremely effective.
Furthermore, by telling yourself that you only need to do this wildly uncomfortable task for just 2 minutes, it makes it accessible. Our brains are wired to resist and procrastinate on big tasks. Tiny tasks, however, often eliminate fear and make actions doable. Two minutes is small enough that we can usually muster the strength to get it done.
Troubleshooting the Stop, Drop, & Feel
Now that you know the basics of how the Stop, Drop, & Feel works, let’s dig into some troubleshooting. While some people can nail this tool on the first try, many of us hit a snag (or fifty) along the way.
Here’s a video where I discuss common pitfalls:
For the most comprehensive guide that answers every question I have ever been asked about the Stop, Drop, & Feel (and there have been MANY), refer to The Stop, Drop, & Feel Masterclass for the ultimate guide. It contains 7 crystal-clear lessons and 5 guided meditations so that you can just plug-and-play.
Also, please know that while the Stop, Drop, & Feel is one of the most important tools, it is not the end-all-be-all. I like to refer to my approach to stopping compulsive eating (Psycho-Spiritual Wellness) to have three essential pillars:
- Emotional tolerance — and that’s what the Stop, Drop, & Feel is for
- Permission to eat — and that’s what giving up dieting is for; and the SDF helps us cope with the uneasiness we feel with giving up dieting (which many of us liken to giving up control) and it also helps us curb binges on previously forbidden foods
- Uprooting of limiting beliefs — and that’s what tools like my workbook Why We Do the Things We Do is for
As previously mentioned, I believe that every desire to eat when we aren’t hungry is driven by an uncomfortable feeling that we either aren’t aware of or aren’t willing to feel — and this is why the Stop, Drop, & Feel is so effective. With that said, many of us think that we are eating past fullness when we actually aren’t even eating enough to begin with.
Therefore, by addressing all the pillars of Psycho-Spiritual Wellness holistically, you’ll see far more traction on the path to stopping compulsive eating the psycho-spiritual way.
The #1 Tool to Stop a Binge in Its Tracks
Emotional tolerance is the #1 skill for stopping compulsive eating, and the Stop, Drop, & feel is the tool that helps you get there. It’s the bread and butter of my work, and I am very proud that it’s my registered trademark: Stop, Drop, & Feel®️.
To gain even more clarity on the path to feeling normal around food, refer to The Stop, Drop, & Feel Masterclass.
And for all my beginner’s, be sure to download to the ah-mazing free ebook below titled, The Spiritual Seeker’s Guide to Stop Binge Eating. It perfectly encapsulates everything about my strangely-named but oh-so-effective approach to stopping compulsive eating: Psycho-Spiritual Wellness.
In the last few days I have been watching your YouTube messages and reading the written articles. I have been on and off a “diet” from the age of 8, I’m now 39! I remember being chubby as a child and I always wanted to be slim. I lost 6.5 stone in my twenties and gained it back in my thirties. I honestly don’t feel like I have another diet in me. You videos and articles resonate with me, and I have been trying to eat normally for two days. It’s wierd, I’m not even sure what I want to eat, as I’m so used to planning meals around diet meals or cheat/binge eating. Thank you for giving me hope and some guidance of how to move forward. I think you are an inspiration. X
Hi Colette! I totally get you!! It can be really weird to start eating normally after years of dieting. It will take time for your brain to rewire itself and for you to rediscover the foods you actually like and dislike. I am excited for you!!! This is going to be an amazing journey 🙂
Hi Kari, thank you for taking time to write this out – it’s what I’ve been telling myself internally for a while but haven’t fully pulled to pieces yet.
I binge mostly because I never feel good enough (for various different reasons, triggers etc.) and I’ve allowed so many situations over the years to add to that pile, so it’s taking a very long time to pick through. I’ll try your method again next time I binge (I think anyone who suffers from it knows this one may not be the last one no matter how ‘together’ you seem), but just knowing people understand and want to help is help in itself, so thank you!
Ahh thank you so much for the lovely and deeply meaningful message Emma <3 I am happy to help and I wish you the best as you start practicing this method 🙂
I’m trying to talk my self off the gastric sleeve edge. I knew there was a better answer. So I keep searching for it. That’s how I found you. I’m all ears! I look forward to diving more into your message. I already know this is the answer I was looking for. Thank you.
Hi Kari
I’m 47 years old and have always been a binge eater, last year when I had to have a full hysterectomy, it induced surgical menopause I can honestly say I’m completely out of control with my eating, I know no diet can fix me and after watching your video I realize I have to fix my relationship with food. I look forward to hearing more from you. Thank you
I applaud your self-awareness Mandy!
How do you stop drop and feel at work? I work in a fast pace, stressful, nursing environment and I rush around for hours, no time to stop or think, then eat like crazy – shoveling (healthy) food in my mouth – knowing I wont get to eat for a while. Then later in the evening (I work 3 – 11) I’m so stressed out, tired and hangry I start binging cookies, chips. It’s a never ending cycle. 🙁
What about binge eating because you just never feel full? I have been dealing with that for as long as I can remember! It starts when I put anything in my mouth. Nothing satisfies my hunger. As I said, I never feel full and can eat (I try really hard not to) until I’m in pain in my side and shoulder. I try to drink a lot so as to fill that hunger. I am diabetic too! I also have G.E.R.D, which I manage myself.
This all sounds great, but I don’t think emotions are what is triggering me. Constant hunger is. And I’m eating myself into an early grave. 🙁
Hi Rachyl, I’m sorry to hear what’s happening. It sounds frustrating. I’m here to help! I invite you to try this method, the SDF, anyway for at least 3 weeks. Although binge eating never feels like a feelings thing, you never truly know until you give it a solid try. If you watch my video, you’ll see me explain an example where, before I binged, I felt totally fine, but once I dropped in, I started sobbing. It’s kind of crazy! I know the fullness thing is confusing for you right now, but give this a try for 3 weeks and then let me know if the issue is still the same. Good luck sister!!
Always had an issue with numbing out my feelings instead of feeling them, will try to remember this for next time I reach for the sweets when I’m feeling down.
Also, just a heads up, that youtube link is broken.
Thank you for the post, nonetheless!
Hi Raphael! Thanks for the comment 🙂 I would love to know how the SDF goes next time you try it!