The Stop, Drop, and Feel can help you stop a binge in its tracks. It’s a powerful tool designed to stop binge eating by directly addressing the emotions that trigger unwanted eating patterns.
While the Stop, Drop, & Feel is particularly useful for stopping yourself in the middle of a binge — or ideally, before a binge starts — it can (and should!) be used throughout your entire journey overcoming compulsive eating.
This is the #1 tool for Psycho-Spiritual Wellness: a path to stop compulsive eating rooted purely in psychology and spirituality.
The SDF is the tool that I come back to over and over again, and I encourage all of my readers and clients to do the same.
While I originally wrote this post in 2018, I am updating it because things have evolved, so here’s an update for 2020.
Update on top of updates: The brand new Stop, Drop, & Feel Masterclass is now open! I created this masterclass because, in all my years of coaching, this tool has remained the most important one in the toolbox. Click here to learn more about the masterclass »
How to Stop a Binge with the SDF
First up, let’s get into the mechanics and principles of the Stop, Drop, and Feel.
The SDF video was one of the first YouTube videos I ever made. So, it’s not perfect and I have wet hair (LOL), but it’s my most-watched video, and arguably my most helpful.
Here’s the original SDF video that explains everything:
A lot of questions have popped up since I coined the SDF. If you find yourself craving more information, watch the troubleshooting video next.
Prefer written guidance over videos? The rest of the article will explain!
How the SDF works
To do the Stop, Drop, & Feel, simply stop what you’re doing, drop into your body, and feel your feelings.
Feeling your feelings might seem like “airy fairy” stuff, but the SDF is powerful. If you check my comments on YouTube, there are many people that break down in tears when they first use it.
Why on earth would I consider crying a good thing? Because we’re directly addressing the emotions that trigger binge eating. And when these powerful emotions have the space to be processed, they stop triggering unwanted eating patterns.
Please know that the SDF will not magically make the binge eating stop, but it will create space between you and the compulsion, allowing you to listen to your body and honor it.
This is all about developing emotional tolerance, the ability to feel uncomfortable and not compulsively look for something to buffer it.
When we train in being uncomfortable, we get better at being uncomfortable without being swept away by it; without being compulsively pulled towards food to numb the pain.
Do not turn the SDF into another form of restriction
Also, another reason why some people can’t achieve the SDF is because they aren’t giving themselves permission to continue the binge if that’s what they really want after. This permission is key and cannot be skipped!
If you don’t give yourself permission to keep binge eating after the SDF, then the SDF just becomes one more barrier between yourself and food. It becomes restriction.
And for every restriction, there is an equal and opposite binge. (That’s why diets don’t work.)
So, the SDF is not about restriction. It’s about developing emotional tolerance.
A great way to prevent this mistake is to approach the SDF with gentle curiosity. Be genuinely curious about what emotions might bubble up when you pause and drop in with yourself.
Do not treat the SDF like a beaver-built damn. It’s not going to stop the emotions. It’s going to help you let the emotions flow.
Once your feelings have space to coexist with you, the compulsion looses its edge.
The #1 tool to stop binge eating
Overeating was never a food-problem or a willpower-problem. It was always a feelings-problem and a beliefs-problem.
The SDF directly addresses the feelings part. Because when you make space for your feelings to coexist with you, it takes the edginess out of the cravings.
If you want to dive deep into this tool and help stop compulsive eating, check out the Stop, Drop, & Feel Masterclass. It contains everything you need to work your way up to stopping a binge in its tracks.
[Side note: If you also want something that addresses the beliefs-part, check out my workbook Why We Do the Things We Do. It’s designed to help with self-sabotage.]
If you give the SDF a try, I’d love to hear from you in the comments on YouTube or the comments below this article!
For anyone new, I recommend downloading the free ebook on eating psychology below:
Originally published March 11, 2018 // Last updated January 29, 2020
In the last few days I have been watching your YouTube messages and reading the written articles. I have been on and off a “diet” from the age of 8, I’m now 39! I remember being chubby as a child and I always wanted to be slim. I lost 6.5 stone in my twenties and gained it back in my thirties. I honestly don’t feel like I have another diet in me. You videos and articles resonate with me, and I have been trying to eat normally for two days. It’s wierd, I’m not even sure what I want to eat, as I’m so used to planning meals around diet meals or cheat/binge eating. Thank you for giving me hope and some guidance of how to move forward. I think you are an inspiration. X
Hi Colette! I totally get you!! It can be really weird to start eating normally after years of dieting. It will take time for your brain to rewire itself and for you to rediscover the foods you actually like and dislike. I am excited for you!!! This is going to be an amazing journey 🙂
Hi Kari, thank you for taking time to write this out – it’s what I’ve been telling myself internally for a while but haven’t fully pulled to pieces yet.
I binge mostly because I never feel good enough (for various different reasons, triggers etc.) and I’ve allowed so many situations over the years to add to that pile, so it’s taking a very long time to pick through. I’ll try your method again next time I binge (I think anyone who suffers from it knows this one may not be the last one no matter how ‘together’ you seem), but just knowing people understand and want to help is help in itself, so thank you!
Ahh thank you so much for the lovely and deeply meaningful message Emma <3 I am happy to help and I wish you the best as you start practicing this method 🙂
I’m trying to talk my self off the gastric sleeve edge. I knew there was a better answer. So I keep searching for it. That’s how I found you. I’m all ears! I look forward to diving more into your message. I already know this is the answer I was looking for. Thank you.
Hi Kari
I’m 47 years old and have always been a binge eater, last year when I had to have a full hysterectomy, it induced surgical menopause I can honestly say I’m completely out of control with my eating, I know no diet can fix me and after watching your video I realize I have to fix my relationship with food. I look forward to hearing more from you. Thank you
I applaud your self-awareness Mandy!
How do you stop drop and feel at work? I work in a fast pace, stressful, nursing environment and I rush around for hours, no time to stop or think, then eat like crazy – shoveling (healthy) food in my mouth – knowing I wont get to eat for a while. Then later in the evening (I work 3 – 11) I’m so stressed out, tired and hangry I start binging cookies, chips. It’s a never ending cycle. 🙁
What about binge eating because you just never feel full? I have been dealing with that for as long as I can remember! It starts when I put anything in my mouth. Nothing satisfies my hunger. As I said, I never feel full and can eat (I try really hard not to) until I’m in pain in my side and shoulder. I try to drink a lot so as to fill that hunger. I am diabetic too! I also have G.E.R.D, which I manage myself.
This all sounds great, but I don’t think emotions are what is triggering me. Constant hunger is. And I’m eating myself into an early grave. 🙁
Hi Rachyl, I’m sorry to hear what’s happening. It sounds frustrating. I’m here to help! I invite you to try this method, the SDF, anyway for at least 3 weeks. Although binge eating never feels like a feelings thing, you never truly know until you give it a solid try. If you watch my video, you’ll see me explain an example where, before I binged, I felt totally fine, but once I dropped in, I started sobbing. It’s kind of crazy! I know the fullness thing is confusing for you right now, but give this a try for 3 weeks and then let me know if the issue is still the same. Good luck sister!!
Always had an issue with numbing out my feelings instead of feeling them, will try to remember this for next time I reach for the sweets when I’m feeling down.
Also, just a heads up, that youtube link is broken.
Thank you for the post, nonetheless!
Hi Raphael! Thanks for the comment 🙂 I would love to know how the SDF goes next time you try it!