Hey I’m Kari, the personal development enthusiast behind the blog! Here’s a brief rundown on what you’ll find here, who I write for, and why this all exists.
The 2 Problems I’m Trying to Solve:
1. Feeling Fat
Diets suck, and exercising in order to lose weight (instead of just to feel good) sucks too. If you’ve been there, then you will enjoy my psycho-spiritual approach to weight loss. (“Psycho” = psychology; but yes, it’s also crazy.)
2. Feeling Stuck
We all have big dreams, but we often let the limitations of our mind discourage us from pursuing them. In my personal development section, you’ll find tools for overcoming roadblocks that keep you stuck so that you can get back on track, living your dreams.
Best article: 39 Personal Development Tips for Mental Badassery
Who I Write For
I write for men and women who are completely fed up with yo-yo dieting and the binge-restrict-binge-restrict pattern.
You’ll find my ideas interesting if you’ve failed at dozens of diets and are willing to try something radically different. (Even if it’s out of desperation, that’s okay. In fact, it’s ideal.)
Because it’s not actually weight loss that I talk about. Rather, it’s about using your desire to lose weight as a doorway into Total Body Acceptance that eventually leads to weight loss.
My approach isn’t for everyone because it’s a slow approach and it doesn’t distract you with the security of diet/exercise advice. So if you’re looking for the next new diet to try, this isn’t the place.
But if you have a f*cked up relationship with food, and you’re willing to try something crazy to fix it, I can help.
My Background on Weight Loss
I’m passionate about Total Body Acceptance because I used to be a yo-yo dieter, which, as you may know, crushes your happiness and self-esteem.
I started young, too.
At the age of 9 I was taught how to count calories and that I shouldn’t have more than 1800 of them in a day – otherwise I would stay fat. And if I ate less than 1800 I would lose weight. Cool math.
Now, the people who told me this meant well. I was chubby and craved awful food (like fast food and sweets) – so I knew they meant well. They wanted me to stop as much as I wanted to stop.
Even as a young kid, I knew that being fat made me different. I couldn’t play like my friends could and boys weren’t interested in me like they were with other girls. I hated being in my body.
Over the years I learned how to compensate for not having a thin, hot body. I compensated by becoming a fucking awesome person. 🙂
But beneath my charisma was a girl who was still enslaved by her weight. She was hidden underneath my smile and boisterous laughter, struggling each and every day to eat the right thing and exercise the right way so that she could get her body back to ‘normal.’
To accomplish this, I proceeded to shame myself into dieting for the next 15 years of my life. Gaining and losing the same fifteen pounds over and over and over.
Most of the time I wasn’t on a strict diet – I was just eating restrictively in general. I had rules, and I liked them. And for each week that I followed them, I would spend one day breaking them, which would always put me right back at square one.
And when I grew really frustrated, I was more radical.
I tried the high-carb/low-fat vegan diet (that made me depressed). I tried the paleo diet (that made me sick). I tried eating 1200 calories a day (that outcome was obvious). I tried excessive cardio (that burned me out). I tried juicing (that made me healthier but not thinner).
I tried everything.
I had an eating disorder.
And I also had a piss poor relationship with myself – only I didn’t know it at the time. How can someone not know that she doesn’t even love herself?
Because I had been shaming myself for my entire life, and that shame had become part of who I was. It was familiar, so I kept it.
Shame was the only relationship I knew how to have with myself.
The Turning Point
Luckily, one day (fairly recently) I decided to quit shame and stop dieting. I gave up the scale-watching habit and I decided to stop using food and exercise as tools to get my body to change.
I decided to end the war with myself.
I allowed myself to enjoy exercise and enjoy my food, which was a whole new thing for me. There were no more rules about how much I had to have (for exercise) or how little (for food).
It was the last radical thing I decided to do, which was radically love myself. And I’ve never looked back.
You can read the rest of my story here for more details.